Distant reflections of back-lit mirrors,
Emotions telling us how to behave-
Behavior telling us how we are supposed to feel
I lean in to kiss you, startled by this sudden turn in intimacy you push me away
You are concrete and I am the water spilling through the seams,
Feeling so much- feeling too much, I tell myself.
I respond with words in the form of saline pooling from the corners of my eyes
Pretending that I am perfect.
Disillusioned painted on smiles and frowns- even the pain feels artificial.
I am a broken vessel not easily up to contain this heart that is too big for this body
I taste you on my lips,
I trace you with my fingertips.
Collapsing on top of your shadow I beg for you to kiss me,
like you see me,
and to see me like-
you use to touch me.
I am used to being too much.
I paint from photos that were taken before I was born,
Yearning to learn something from their vintage unknown love
What does it feel like to stay?