The problem with pain is that it isn’t formulaic.
You can’t wish it away. You also can’t pray it away.
I am thankful for all of the times that I wasn’t chosen.
Because just like that list of things I thought that I wanted, I am realizing that I had a lot of things wrong.
I recall depression that made me sick to stomach for years and the way separation split me in two.
Moving from place to place but never being at home.
To love from a father whose heart was big enough to call home.
I do not know where to go after the shininess fades away because everyone has left me after discovering I’m not the girl they have made me out to be.
’m your classic extravert/ introvert that never quite feels comfortable in any social setting because if they want thelifeofthepartyida she stayed home tonight and if they want thedeepconversationida you get the non-stop Ida instead.Read More
Upon reflection I realize it was never CA that I spent years longing for.
It was the innocence of childhood.
Of not caring about what I had or didn’t have.
The thick blanket of snow that has recently fallen over Kansas City has reminded me of the stillness that winter brings. The silence brings room for rest and reflection. It allows us to slow down time.